Through all the different identities that I’ve worn and cast off over my life, I have always been a writer.
In high school and college, I was really serious about journalism, and learned a lot that has informed my writing ever since. Then I got married, and the truth was, even back then, it was a lot easier to get a job waiting tables than it was at a local paper, and there were lights to keep on.
While I wasn’t writing a lot back then (I did write a fantasy novel that I never sold) we were learning all kinds of kink. We started with strip clubs and playing with vanilla friends, until that became clearly more entanglement than we knew what to do with, and graduated to the swinging community, where we were (more or less) happy regulars until we moved into the next phase of our lives, when we had kids. We still got out to the clubs when we could, until a cross country move with no childcare on the other end meant our swinging career had come to a pause.
Eventually, we did wrangle childcare, but by then we were a little out of practice – parenting changed us enough that it took a little time to figure out how our new identities fit with the old ones. Still, for my birthday we went, just one time, to the upscale swing club in our new city. The night we were able to get a sitter happened to be Leather Night.
So began a new exploration, as we started to learn more about our kinky selves. It was around the same time that I reclaimed part of my writing career, launching a couple of science fiction titles that were liberally sprinkled with erotic elements. I found myself always, in my writing, drawn to sex. I had to work to keep it out.
Still, I spent a couple of years becoming part of the local convention scene. I spoke on panels, attended signings, and at the best conventions would also attend ‘late night’ programming where I spoke on panels about erotica and the intersection of kink and science fiction.
As our kids got older, we got more freedom and were finally able to join our local kink community, a club that had been thriving in the area for all the years we lived here. So, of course, once we joined and went to a handful of events, they promptly lost their lease on their building, and closed their doors.
As I start this blog, it’s with a pretty heavy dose of imposter syndrome. I know how to write an article, but don’t quite have the credibility to call myself a journalist. I’ve had moderate success as a science fiction writer, but haven’t published any true erotica – yet. We’ve been dilettantes to several fringe communities, but not spent long enough in any one to feel like true experts, though I do feel like it’s fair to say that I have gained a great deal of knowledge and understanding about sex, through research and my own experiences.
I don’t know yet exactly where I fit in this community, but after a year of following sex bloggers and listening to so many amazing podcasts, I know that I want to fit somewhere. I want to write, and for years, sex is where writing takes me. I want to share some of what I know, and learn some of what others have to teach. I have things to say, and so I created a place to say them. Where it goes from here, I don’t know, but I’ll update this page if it ever gets any clearer.
January 19, 2018